Keystone Rent-A-Kops, Part Two

When last we left our fearless hero, he was proceeding down the hallway of [main hospital] wondering about the intelligence of [main hospital]'s security.

Enough of the third person:

I finished up my business with [upper level hospital] and proceeded to pick up some equipment from [main hospital], after which I proceeded to the CSPD department so I could get a signature (I don't know why my company wants me to get a signature from our customers when we're the one's picking up used equipment. I'm sure Management has its reasons). I told them of my encounter with security. One of them, we'll call her Tabitha, started laughing and said, "We really do have some dingbats on our security team!" [Main hospital] recently did some major renovating. Whole sections of the building changed. One night, while Tabitha is doiong her work, two security guards walk through the door of CSPD:

Guards 1 and 2: "Where's the elevator?"

Tabitha: "What elevator?"

Guards 1 and 2: "The elevator that's back in this hall somewhere."

Tabitha: "There isn't an elevator in this hall. There hasn't been one in this hall for eight months."

Guards 1 and 2: "We've got to find it. Someone's trapped in it!"

Tabitha: "They can't be. That elevator hasn't existed for eight months!"

Guards 1 and 2: "Okay." They leave.

Twenty minutes later, Guard 1 walks in with a third guy.

Guards 1 and 3: "Where's the elevator?"

Tabitha: "I told you, there's not an elevator."

Guards 1 and 3: "Somebody is trapped in it. We've got to find it."

Tabitha: "It was taken out eight months ago!!!"

Guards 1 and 3: "Well, someone's trapped in it right now."

Tabitha: "Are you sure you're looking for the right elevator?"

Guard 3: "Uh...I don't know." They leave.

About a half hour later in walk Guards 2 and 3.

Guards 2 and 3: "Someone's trapped in that elevator that's back here."

Tabitha: "Look. That elevator doesn't exist! It has not existed for eight months! I'm sitting where the elevator shaft used to be!"

Guards 2 and 3: "But somebody's trapped in it!"

Tabitha: "Nobody is trapped in it. They can't be trapped in it. It doesn't exist!"

Guard 3 to Guard 2: "We've got to find that elevator."

Tabitha: "Fellows. Wait right here for a minute."

She leaves the office, goes to the Engineering Office, and brings an engineer back with her.

Tabitha: "These gentlemen are looking for the elevator that's in this hall."

Engineer: "That elevator isn't here anymore. We got rid of it awhile ago."

Guards: "But someone's trapped in it."

Engineer: "Impossible!"

Guards are interrupted by a voice coming over their walkie-talkies (I'm paraphrasing this part): "We found the trapped person. The cafeteria elevator got stuck between floors. All clear."

Guards and Engineer leave. Tabitha remains at her desk hoping she never needs security to rescue her from malfunctioning elevators.