Ghosts from years past...

I've been reading this guy's blog off and on for a while now. He's funny. This particular post brings up a point that makes me feel better about an eccentricity I have. First, quoting from James' story:

"…I did not take into account my fear of smelling bad.

"It sounds like such a juvenile fear - smelling bad. I suppose it sounds so juvenile because its roots reach back into my juvenile years. I don't recall the age at which I first began to wear deodorant, but I do know that I only started following a suggestion from my parents. When it came to the pain of childhood and teenage social interactions, my parents subscribed to the School of Gentle Prodding. For the most part, they only spoke up when it became pathetically obvious that I was not going to figure some obvious truth out on my own. In the case of deodorant, they had to buy me my first stick, along with some gentle prodding: "Here. Use this." A few years later, they repeated this exercise with a small selection of cologne brands. The implications were appalling: I smelled bad."

It's amazing how little things from childhood can "scar us for life". Once, when I was in the third grade, one of my teachers told my parents I had a propensity of talking about things that had no bearing on what was being discussed. She provided no examples, so I don’t know exactly what she meant by that. Unfortunately, I went into panic mode and started analyzing my thoughts as I listened in on conversations. If someone talked about their pet, I would consciously follow my thoughts as they traversed the fields of association. Their pet would remind me of my pet which would remind me of the time Lassie did something in the car which might remind me of the time the car caught fire which would remind me of the time we had a bonfire, etc. The ultimate end of the association process had nothing at all to do with the original thought. So if I felt like contributing anything to the conversation, I would worry that what I was about to say would fail my third grade teacher's relevancy test, even if my contribution did have bearing on the subject at hand. Using the pet example above, someone might relate how his pet fell off the bed. I might talk about how I once thought I broke my dog's leg by dropping him off the bed, but I would begin my story with: "I don’t know what reminded me of this, but…" To this day, I still begin many stories with, "I don’t know what reminded me of this…" I doubt my teacher meant for me to be haunted by that phrase for the rest of my life, but it has haunted me! I wonder how some of my other insecurities developed? I wonder if I've caused my nieces and nephews any worries like this? I hope not.

And "that's all I've got to say about that."